Even with a ton of great actors–Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, Wesley Snipes, Ellen Barkin and Vincent D’Onofrio –this movie sucked goat balls. It’s like Hollywood actors all got together and discovered that could all make a bundle of cash by starring in a bad movie together. I’m starting to wonder if some of these actors (cough*Ethan Hawke*cough) are even trying any more.

There are a few brutal death scenes in the movie that might make it worth a watch. A few pairs of breasts, too. Is it possible to invoke a one year moratorium on cop movies, though?

For some reason, I yet again ignored my own policy and decided to watch a Dennis Quaid movie. This time, I mistakenly decided to watch The Horeman one night when I saw it On Demand.

Saying this movie is terrible is an understatement.

Quaid plays a recently widowed detective still grieving over his wife’s death when all of a sudden he discovers a possible serial killer. It takes him awhile, but soon he discovers a shocking connection between himself and the suspects in the killing spree inspired by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. It’s 9MM meets Seven meets The Brady Bunch, if you can imagine that.

Saying this movie is predictable would also be an understatement.

There isn’t any real reason to watch this one, as it is definitely craptastic. Maybe there is some thrill and gore that might make it worth it for some.

Gamer is a cult favorite among video gamers. It’s a movie about the future, where the minds of state prisoners are linked via computer to the consoles of game players around the world. The gamers play a mind-controlling game with death row convicts who are forced to battle in a to the death. The brutally violent movie is full of bloody special effects that will appease the bloodthirst of action fans.

Convict Kable, played by Gerard Butler, is hell bent on escaping the game and proving his innocence. Kable needs the help of Simon, a skilled teenage gamer who controls Kable in the game, in order to get past the game’s creator Ken Castle.

Weird movie, but not too bad. Gamer is one of the best Hacker movies out there.

The Men Who Stare at Goats is a movie based on the book by author Jon Ronson about a reporter named Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) trying to find himself after his marriage fails. Bob might just have the story of a lifetime when he meets Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), a special forces agent who reveals the existence the New Earth Army, a secret, psychic military unit whose goal is to end war as we know it.

The movie is fairly comical in spots, and fairly odd in other spots. It’s a unique film, full of great actors like Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey, who also star in this movie.

Worth a watch.

There is a reason Year One only get 14% on Rotten Tomatoes…it’s terrible!

Year One is a movie about a couple of lazy hunter-gatherers (Jack Black, Michael Cera) who get themselves banished from their primitive village and set off on an epic journey through the ancient world that is largely unknown to them.

The only redeeming quality of this movie is the fact that Juno Temple is in the movie, and looks as sexy as ever. That makes Year One almost worth watching. Almost.

Year One is a painfully unfunny to watch. It tries to be a satire and fails, even with actors like Black, Cera, Paul Rudd, Oliver Platt, David Cross and Hank Azaria.

Inglourious Basterds, a fantastic movie written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, was first shown at the Cannes Film Festival in May 2009. It is Mr. Tarantino’s sixth feature, and stars Brad Pitt, Eli Roth, Mike Myers and a voice over my Samuel L. Jackson.

Inglourious Basterds is the story of a small team of Jewish-American soldiers assembled by an American avenger, Lieutenant Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), in order to strike fear into the soldiers of the Third Reich by brutally killing and scalping Nazis. The basterds like to scalp their Nazi victims, and Tarantino likes displaying their knife work in graphic detail.

Eventually they cross paths with a young French-Jewish woman whose family was murdered when she was younger and now runs a movie theater in Paris. The ending is a revisionist history of WWII that is sure not to disappoint.

This is definitely a typical Tarantino film, full of long dialogs and over-the-top violence. In other words, this movie kicks ass.

When two nerds, Gilbert and Lewis, head off to their freshman year at Adams College, they don’t realize the taunting they will endure at the hands of the jocks of Alpha Beta fraternity. The jocks accidentally burn down their house and are forced to toss the freshmen out of the dorm.

The nerds soon realize they must form their own fraternity in self-defense, and in an effort to find housing. Soon, the nerds begin to exact revenge on the jocks with high-tech warfare. Hilarity follows in the form of several very memorable quotes.

Booger: Big deal! Did you get in her pants?
Gibert: She’s not that kind of girl, Booger.
Booger: Why? Does she have a penis?

Lewis: Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex.

Takashi: I think I’ve got a frush.
Booger: What the fuck’s a frush?

Takashi: Maybe we should have robster craws.
Booger: What the fuck are robster craws?

Booger: I say we blow the fuckers up.

Booger: Step aside momma, I wanna see some of that muff!

Booger: I thought I was looking at my mother’s old douche-bag, but that’s in Ohio.

Coach Harris: You just got your asses whipped by a bunch of goddamn nerds.

Gibert: No one will really be free until nerd persecution ends.

Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper star in this simple, yet very cheesy romantic comedy featuring one of the only movies about a girl nerd.

All About Steve is a comfortable movie that’s comical in spots.

Nothing spectacular, but a good movie to watch with your girlfriend.

Gordon Gekko Returns!

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Oliver Stone’s follow-up to the original Wall Street, is set in the midst of the economic bubble of 2008, seven years after the infamous Gordon Gekko is released from prison. Gekko was sent away at the end of the first film for insider trading, and a slew of other charges. While he was away, he wrote a book titled Is Greed Good?

Gekko declares, “The mother of all evil is speculation.” He also has a few other memorable quotes in this movie, just like the first.

“Money is a bitch that never sleeps.”
“The best memory I know is hurt.”

Enter Gekko’s daughter, who is dating Shia LaBeouf’s character Jake Moore. Gekko uses Moore to get back in his daughter’s good graces, as well as to exact revenge on a few unsuspecting enemies and earn his empire back.

Gekko eventually turns $100 million into a a billion, and ends up getting the last laugh with everyone. But, for better or for worse, he grows a heart and seeks time with his family. “Money is not the prime asset in life,” Gekko declares. “Time is.”

The cinematography in this movie is sensational. The soundtrack to the movie is a spectacular tribute to 1980′s coke scene, and remains consistent with the original. The film also maintains the integrity of the original with an appearance of Bud Fox. Fox inadvertently meets Gekko at a party, and they discuss old times.

Overall, I was surprised at how well done this movie was. With the exception of Shia’s acting, and the cameo of Sheen’s character Fox, the movie was spectacular. It is highly recommended by this Movie Nerd.

No, you won’t see a many of the older movies on this list, although Miracle on 34th Street does bring back some fond memories from elementary school. And you won’t see any Ben Affleck movies on this list, either.

Enough of my babbling, here’s my list…

10. Four Christmases

9. The Night They Saved Christmas

8. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

7. Nightmare Before Christmas

6. Elf

5. Bad Santa

4. Home Alone

3. Scrooged

2. Christmas Vacation

1. A Christmas Story